Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize