She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
