Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
