Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
