ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
