ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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