1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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