Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
