My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
