How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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