i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
