I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
