how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize