Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
