**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
