Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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