Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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