I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
