we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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