How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It all started with a game of naked twister.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
