So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
