Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize