Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm bleeding and have questions
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize