No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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