Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
