I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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