***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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