sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
