I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
