she sounds like chewbacca in bed
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
