I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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