..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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