Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
