I'm laying in your front yard are you home
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize