I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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