I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
