how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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