Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
