so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
