ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i barfeds in our rink
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize