Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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