Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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