dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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