It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
