Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
