I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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