We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
