Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize