So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You dont lie about slip and slides
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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