think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
