Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
