1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I want to make a zoo with you.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
