Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize