is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Boobs are out for the taking
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize