Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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