pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
