You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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