I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize