apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
