So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
